It’s funny, even though I design stationery, I never send out cards/notes via traditional mail. Pretty crazy huh? I vowed last year to make an effort to do so and well, I didn’t, so I won’t set myself up a fail again by saying I will now. I’ll just sit here slightly embarrassed at myself.
Thankfully, others aren’t as lazy as me and choose pretty paper vs. email for their correspondence. What about you? Do you send out handwritten notes? Cards? If so, why? It not, why? Yah, I’m full of questions today.
I’m not talking about the typical commercial driven stuff like Holidays, but you know, the random notes just to keep in touch or say thanks. Oh, and if anyone wants to be penpals, my email can be found in the top right corner of this blog. ;)
You know, I think I jinxed myself bitching about February because she’s dealing more crap to me. The latest happenings over here is a bedroom carpet* ripped up along with some baseboards courtesy of Riley. Yah, the cute boy down below. Looks like butter wouldn’t melt huh?
Seems he got himself locked in there while we was out yesterday and was determined to eat his way through the wall. WTF? He ain’t a puppy, don’t only puppies do stuff like this? Of course, I can’t be angry at him, he’s cute and shit happens, but still, February, seriously, can you not reserve some of your challenges for March, April, May… ?
Anyway, rather than bitch some more, I wanted to talk about drive. You know the motivational kind. For me, it’s been slightly lacking this month. Even though we’re only 8 days in, I’ve done eff all in terms of what I had planned. Let’s just say my motivation and optimism has taken a trip elsewhere. I’ve even looked at my business as a whole and debated throwing in the towel. Yah, it’s gotten that bad at times.
But see there’s a problem. I have this drive I can’t ignore. I didn’t quit my job, invest money and talk the talk to later walk away due to a few bumps in the road. Yah, I might be driving under the speed limit right now, but let’s face it, all I need to do is put my foot firmly down and step it up a notch. And hey, if I need to pull of to the side to refuel that’s okay too. That final destination isn’t going anywhere, it’ll still be there whether I arrive tomorrow, next month or even next year.
I’m curious, what drives you to keep going? These roads we are taking, whether personal or professional are rarely smooth, so what gives you the drive to keep at it?
* After 30 minutes of thinking my place is a shambles, I saw the bright side of things. I’ve always hated that carpet. Besides latching on to every bit of dirt that comes its way, I just hate carpet period. So, screw it, I’m ripping it up and exposing the concrete. I already have exposed concrete in my condo so I think it’ll work. I’ll keep you posted.
38/365: My boys arrived today*. After a rough week, I couldn’t wait to get myself a dose of cuddles and kisses. Once the love fest was over, Bosco secured his place on the chair next to James. The very expensive, {gasp} white {gasp} chair**.
* My ex and I share them. We’re lucky to have a good relationship still so it works for us.
** I’ve given up trying to keep these chairs clean. I’ve no clue what I was thinking buying them in white as most of the fabric covered parts are non-removable. Once I get more confident with my sewing machine (read: when my mam arrives in the summer – she’s an amazing seamstress – and can help me) I’ll be churning out some slip covers so I don’t have a shed a silent tear every time I look at them.
37/365: I finally won the mental battle with my sewing machine today. It’s been a few years since I’ve sewn anything so I was a little nervous. But, I put all that aside and just went for it. The result? Two fab pillow cases for my living area. Photos coming soon!
36/365: I was all set to do some sewing today but procrastination and indecision took over. Oh, and the fact I’m afraid to cut my material. Someone pass me some sewing cahonos please.
35/365: I had naturally wavy hair as a kid which straightened out as I got older. Yet, every once in a while my hair will just naturally curl. Today was one of those days which I welcome as it means no styling whatsoever. I like that.
34/365: In a scramble to take my photo late at night, all I got is random bathroom accessories. ;)
33/365: In an attempt to take a break from the computer today I pulled out my sketchpads and Prismacolor pencils. It was just one of those days where the creative juices had run dry and I was more productive making pencil shavings than I was sketching.
32/365: I had an appointment downtown today. I typically walk everywhere so couldn’t resist an opportunity to snap some shots on the TTC. I’m really happy with how this shot came out. I had no idea what would be captured as the camera was sat on my knee. Not bad eh?
You know, it’s funny, when I used to work in an office, the distinction between the work week and the weekend was clearly defined. That TGIF (though more likely TFIF) feeling was always buzzing through me. Truth be told, in terms of social activity, I took part in it regardless of the day and I’ve gone into work hungover more times than I care to admit, so plans on the weekend were not necessarily the source of my weekend anticipation. There is something so comforting in knowing that the weekend is just around the corner. Whether your weekend was jam-packed with commitments or destined to be enjoyed in your PJs at home, it was the weekend and that’s all that mattered.
When I started to work for myself, that distinction became very fuzzy if not invisible. Not a weekend went by (other than one camping trip weekend) that I didn’t work in some capacity. In essence, I pretty much worked every day for a full year, for 365 days straight!
Of course, sometimes it was necessary and that’s a pill you simply have to swallow when working for yourself. However, there’s a difference between working out of pure necessity (i.e. to get on top of orders, a great idea you just want to work on) verses working out of self-imposed, unrealistic expectations. Seriously, would a potential customer feel any less of me if I didn’t answer a question at 11pm on a Saturday night? Heck, on any day even? Would a customer feel any less of me if the item they bought on Friday night shipped Monday morning rather than Sunday? My guess is no, they wouldn’t.
It’s not unusual for a bricks and mortar store to have 1 or 2 days of closure per week, so why do we put this pressure on ourselves to be available 24/7? Obviously, much of that pressure comes from the fact our primary presence is online. That alone brings expectations of instant results and constant accessibility. However, there’s a fine line and it’s up to you to keep in visible at all times.
I let it disappear in the beginning and I succumbed to the pressure only to later burn myself out. So, I’m drawing myself a new line. In a big fat marker. I’m taking back my weekends. My business will still be there on Monday, as will the customers, and more importantly, so will I, refreshed and raring to go thanks to two precious days off.
Despite February getting off to a bit of a rocky start, I’m done complaining about it. Quite frankly, I’m stick of hearing myself complain and sweating stuff I can’t change right now. Yeah, I’ve got shit to do, yeah, I don’t have a functioning printer (I’ve delegated this into the trusty hands of Canon), and yah, lack of creativity might be a bit of an issue, but seriously, there’s eff-all I can do about it without forcing myself into some fake sense of productivity. I’ve tried and I’ve just ended up more frustrated.
I’ve always said the brain is like a muscle. You need to work it out constantly for it to stay in shape, but, like any muscle, it also needs rest and you need to listen for the cues. So, we’re resting at the coffee shop riding out this rough wave until we find our balance. It’ll come. Always does.
As per the memo received from January, I’m sure you are aware this is a big month for modernemotive. With a very tight budget and strict deadlines, we need to ensure everyone is on board so that all deliverables are on track. I know you met with March to see if some projects could be shifted over there, but it is simply not feasible.
After a performance review with 2010, we both request you have a pep talk with your team. We need to get all projects back on track so it is imperative that all printers and creative juices are working at full capacity. They are the core of this project and we will fail without them.
I understand and appreciate your team is feeling rather broken and burnt out as of late, so we have stocked the supply cupboards with some band-aids that we advise be used immediately. We hope this will help remedy any issues they are facing.
Your cooperation is much appreciated in this matter.
31/365: A Zebra massage thingy. That’s all your getting today. It was late, I was tired and it was all I could think off. Roll on February and hopefully more creative photography!
30/365: Still not feeling love with my photography creativity.
Psst… this photo wasn’t taken on the 30th – boo! I totally forgot all about it and even though I made a mental note at night to get on it, before I knew it, I was off to the land of the sleep. However, as I’d already figured out what to take for that day, I simply took it on another one so I’m not counting it as failing. :)
29/365: Has a case of cabin fever today so I headed out to a local coffee shop called Second Cup (it’s actually a chain over here in Canada). I pretty much spent the whole day here. It was nice to take breaks from working to do a little people watching and just lose myself in the hustle and bustle of activity. This location will be my new working home over the coming weeks.
28/365: I rarely untie my shoes when I take them off. Do you?
27/365: Had a bunch of errands to run tonight. My enthusiasm for photography has waned a little lately (mostly due to lack of creativity and leaving it until night time) so I quickly snapped this on the way home and marked it as done!
26/365: Completely forgot to take a picture today. Thankfully a game of Monopoly saved me. Sadly this throw of the dice officially bankrupted me and gave the game to James. Oh well, at least I didn’t fail at Project 365, so I did win with something.
25/365: A rainy day here in Toronto. Need I say anymore?
I’ve gone back and forth on whether to share the truly personal sides of my life. There’s always that internal battle of how personal is too personal when you have what may be viewed as a business blog. Perhaps that’s true, but one thing I always respect – whether on blogs, in people, businesses… whatever – is transparency. Yah, this blog represents my company to a certain extent, but it also represents me, Adele.
The last two years of my life have been one heck of an emotional ride. I’ve gone through a divorce, the death of a pet from extremely devastating circumstances (RIP Sock-a-Roonie), leaving a pretty decent paying job, a period of feeling homeless (I wasn’t but I didn’t have a bed to call my own for some time), buying a condo within 3 weeks because I was so desperate for said bed, meeting the man of my dreams, discovering my pop had terminal cancer (he’s currently in remission – yah!), losing friends due to circumstances beyond my control rather than losing something else on the other side (gotta love that double-edged sword)… the list just goes on.
Anyways, back to that man of my dreams. Those words sometimes piss me off. I often resent them to no end. Why? Because shortly into our relationship I discovered he had brain damage. He was born with a condition called ARND (Alcohol-Related Neurodevelopmental Disorder) which falls under the FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder) umbrella. Perhaps some of you know of it, for those that don’t, to cut it short, his maternal mom (he’s adopted) drank alcohol while pregnant and this essentially damaged his brain permanently. You wouldn’t know it to look at him or be around him, he’s extremely smart and we’re fortunate in that he’s considered high-functioning, but I won’t get into the clinical side of this. Quite frankly, it often confuses me. All that needs to be said for now is that the section of the brain which allows the left and right side to communicate is damaged which causes a myriad of challenges.
So ya, sometimes when I look at the man of my dreams, I get pissed off. Not so much because I view him as “damaged” but because it could of been prevented. If the alcohol hadn’t been able to destroy him before he was even born, our life would be oh so different. I get pissed off because “someone” (god, fate, whatever floats your boat) put him in my life to go on this wonderful ride only to later tell me that that to make this work we’ll have to face challenges most would run from. I wish I had the words to describe these challenges, so rather than try, I’ll share with you a song that brings a lot of clarity to me when things are fuzzy.
Truth is, we’ve been on this huge mountain climb since the day we met. Sometimes the trip up it has been exhilarating – memories I’ll always remember – and sometimes we’ve stumbled and slid down the mountain a little. Yet we always got up, dusted ourselves off and starting climbing again. Even when our pain and fears were too heavy to carry, we kept climbing. I don’t know if we’ll ever reach the top of the mountain together and perhaps along the way one of us will be too tired to keep climbing, but hopefully, one day, we’ll both reach the top to experience it’s beauty. I’m told it’s the most amazing feeling of freedom there is.
P.S. I don’t know if I’ll keep this post up forever. Perhaps one day I’ll wake up and decide it is too personal. But for now, this is me, my life, the life of the face behind this blog, Adele, not modernemotive, but Adele.
P.P.S. I know in the grand scale of things, we’re pretty lucky. There are much worse battles to face, this world ain’t perfect, but sometimes, just sometimes, you have to be a little selfish and only think about your little world. You live in it after-all.
As I gear up to close my shop on Sunday, I’m thinking ahead and looking at how I can make that closure as productive as possible. The more I think about it and assess what needs to be done, the more I realize I’ll likely need to take the whole month to do it.
So, come February 1st, I want to have a plan in order. I’m very proficient at whittling away time online, and as much as I love to twitter with friends and do other social activities, if I’m honest with myself, I often drain away a little too much time. If I don’t put certain restrictions on myself, I know I’ll end up going around in circles.
So, in an effort to make February an awesome month of productivity, here are some of things I have planned so far:
Getting up as if I’m actually leaving to go to work
By this I mean showering first thing (yet to strike that off my to-do list), putting on clothes (not that I work naked or anything but the PJ days need to go) and making myself look more presentable (even if it’s just for an audience of one). I truly think that by adopting a more professional state of mind, which lets face it can be influenced by our outer presentation, it’ll drive my focus better.
Working offsite 2 to 3 times a week
I’ve been talking about working outside of my condo for too long. So, as I won’t need to stick close to home to process orders, I think now is a great time to get this particular working pattern in motion. On the odd occasion I have worked offsite, the elevation in productivity and inspiration is very noticeable. So, why I haven’t latched onto this realization and made it a ritual is beyond me. Coffee shops here I come!
Breaking tasks out by the day
While I’m a pretty good multi-tasker in general, there are some activities I need to do undisturbed such as designing and – blegh – admin. Right now I’m not sure how I’ll break the week up but I suspect to start it’ll be 2 days of product development, 3 days of admin and business planning. I’ll then switch this up as items get scratched off the to-do list in their entirety.
Set some work hours
I know self-employment comes with long hours and in part I have to accept that, however, I also know that I can’t keep going at the rate I’m going. As much as I love my business, if I’m not taking care of myself, how on earth can I run it? So, the goal is to stop working at 6pm every night and actually take the weekends off. Of course, there will be times when I’m on a roll (I think most designers can identify with this one) and it’ll go beyond 6pm, but I’m going to try and limit that. I have a life outside of this company and I need to be living it a wee bit more!
This is what I have so far. What do you think? I’m sure they’ll be more planning and I foresee many lists in my future.
I’d love to hear what you do to make your day as productive as possible. Do you set yourself schedules for certain things? Break work out by the hour? The day?
P.S. Yes, that photo is of my kitchen bowls. I was searching and searching for a suitable photo on Flickr and then realized I was spending too much time searching (told you I can whittle away precious time). So, as I wrote “circles” inthe paragraph above it, I naturally had a Eureka! moment and used my kitchen bowls. Work with me here folks. Ms. Productivity will thank you for helping me battle her whittling time away tendencies. ;)
Hello. I’m Adele, the girl behind modernemotive. I'm a Brit living in Canada, a corporate dropout turned eco-friendly designer, an amateur photographer, and a blogger to name a few.
My shop is currently in vacation mode while I get my wholesale documentation together, work on new products and other fun stuff. It will be re-opening again in a few weeks.
